My Heart's Broken

Posted by DP | 7/30/2008 11:05:00 AM

Despite the best of intentions, I just haven't been able to blog lately. Work, stress, writer's block, I don't know, but I'll get back to it soon I promise.

But right now, I'm hurting y'all.

My Mother passed away on Sunday.

I've been enveloped by an overwhelming sadness and grief that comes at me in waves. I just can't shake it. I'll tell you my story one of these days, after which you'll understand why I'm going to miss this saintly woman so much. And why I really haven't quite figured out how I'm going to reasonably move on without her presence in our lives.


I am now left without both parents and grandparents on this earth, and find myself at 40 years old rapidly becoming one of the elders in my family. I pray to God that I'm up to it when my time comes.

Mama, I love you, I miss you, and I cherish every day I had with you. Thank you for giving birth to me. Thank you for everything you instilled in me, and for the love, care, and sacrifice you made for all of us. Thank you for being my Mama.

May you rest in eternal peace and bask in the glory of the presence of the Lord.

You deserve it.

21 comments
  1. Black Political Analysis July 30, 2008 at 12:23 PM  

    I feel for you. My grandfather passed on Sunday.

    God speed.

  2. Anonymous July 30, 2008 at 2:35 PM  

    don't worry my Dear your not alone, you have my straight, love, heart and God has allowed me the spine of a black women to support us both during this time of overwhelming sadness
    luv your wife

  3. jobsanger July 30, 2008 at 3:55 PM  

    I'm sorry to hear about your devastating loss. You are in our thoughts.

  4. Torrance Stephens - All-Mi-T July 31, 2008 at 12:51 PM  

    will keep u and yours n my prayers

  5. Hagar's Daughter August 1, 2008 at 8:16 AM  

    God bring comfort and peace in DP's time of grief and pain. Amen

  6. ShAĆ© - ShAĆ© August 1, 2008 at 10:07 AM  

    I'm so sorry to hear this. I know sometimes you just need to be still and gather your thoughts & emotions. I've been there... I am there. Talk whenever you want, we'll be here.

    Hit me up if you need to: shaeshaesblog@gmail.com.

  7. Anonymous August 1, 2008 at 11:58 AM  

    Dead is something we do not understand, we have many questions and unfortunately there are not many answers.

    Our foremothers and forefathers taught us well. This is your moment and all the great lessons taught to you will now have a place in the world.

    Grieve for your Mother, pull yourself together (as you were taught)…. You have much to live for personally, professionally and your virtual community family… your little spot place here is cute.

    The Universe Provides
    Proverbs 4:7

  8. Regina August 1, 2008 at 12:09 PM  

    wow, so sorry for your loss. you and yours are in my prayers. I pray that God grants you peace, and restoration in your time of loss.
    I'm here at geegeejegar@gmail if you care to talk, vent, etc...
    Peace, Love & blessings...

  9. Quick August 1, 2008 at 3:43 PM  

    Sorry to hear that. My prayers are w/ you

  10. MsMarvalus August 1, 2008 at 6:59 PM  

    My condolences are with you...

    God bless you and your family.

  11. Charles Kuffner August 1, 2008 at 8:44 PM  

    I am so sorry to hear this. Please accept my condolences on your loss. I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

  12. blackwomenblowthetrumpet.blogspot.com August 2, 2008 at 5:36 AM  

    Hi there....

    I am deeply sorry to hear of your loss.

    I am a motherless daughter.

    I can not claim to understand your hurt...everyone is different.

    Could I say that the pain goes away? It would not be true...when we will ever stop mourning our mothers or fathers, really? The loss is never accepted really but we go on....we dare to live the life that we KNEW would make them smile.

    We allow each day to be like a tribute to the loved ones who have gone on...

    We try to go on and show God that we believe He knows what to do with us and we are willing to step onward and see what He has in store...

    May you be comforted by our Lord in this time...and may He give you joy of His presence even as the tears flow from your grieving...

    When you feel like the day is just too dark....whisper up to Heaven "I love you back".

    Peace, blessings and DUNAMIS!
    Lisa

  13. MrsGrapevine August 2, 2008 at 10:10 AM  

    I can relate, it's been a year since I lost my mama, and I still have the up and down moments. Take your time to heal and to grieve, everyone understands. I will pray that God lifts you up and helps you through each day. I will pray that you find strength you didn't know you had, and I will pray that you'll find peace...

  14. Angie-in-Japan August 2, 2008 at 11:24 AM  

    DP...I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. I'll keep you and yours in my prayers.

  15. Texas Liberal August 3, 2008 at 9:31 PM  

    I'm very sorry

  16. Bedlam August 5, 2008 at 1:42 AM  

    Sorry to hear that. My prayers are with you.

  17. Menopausal Mick August 5, 2008 at 10:31 AM  

    DP,

    The pain of your loss doesn't ever go totally away, my friend. The first year will have heart wrenching moments on special days like birthdays or the holidays or anytime you wish you could tell her about your day.

    Six years after the loss of my Dad, I still catch myself missing him so badly that I can hardly breathe on occasion.

    BUT...what DOES happen with time, is that additionally there are moments....days....weeks....months where the only thoughts I have about him are full of the joy of having known him.

    I wish you all good speed into that time when the majority of your thoughts about her are full of love and happy memories and have only the tiniest bit of pain added. It WILL happen, DP...even if it doesn't feel that way right now.

    Big big hugs from the Ozark Hippie Clan.

    Mick

  18. 8thlight August 5, 2008 at 11:09 AM  

    My condolences. I'm sorry for your loss.

  19. DP August 7, 2008 at 3:38 PM  

    All - I am overwhelmed by your support. Thank you all so much for just being here. It means the world, but I really want to thank you all individually, so here goes:

    BPA - My condolences to you and yours on the loss of your grandfather. I appreciate you taking the time to offer consolation to my family at a time when yours is in need too. Thanks.

    Wifey - You're always there for me and I love you more with each passing day. Thank you for being you.

    JobsAnger - Thank you my friend. I appreciate you more than you know.

    Torrance – Thank you my brother. We can use all of the prayer we can get.

    Hagar’s daughter – Thank you for the prayers of comfort and peace. Lord knows we I needed it.

    Shae-Shae – Thank you for being there. And being here. I appreciate you.

    Anonymous – Words of wisdom and I appreciate. Life does go on. And thanks for the kind words about the site. Come back soon.

    Regina – Thank you and I appreciate the prayers for peace and restoration. I know that God doesn’t put more on us than we can bear. BTW, how’s life in Texas for you? I’ve been up that way quite a bit lately.

    Quick – Thank you, and I appreciate the prayers.

    Ms. Marvalus – Thank you for the consolation, and may God continue to bless you too.

    Charles – Hey man, thank you for the condolences and your prayers for the family. I promise you I will make the next lunch, God willing and the creek don't rise!

    Lisa – Thank you, thank you for your words of comfort and inspiration. We’ll make it through and you’re right about letting God know we love him back. Took your advice and did it right now.

    Mrs. Grapevine – Hey, thanks a lot for sharing, and for your words of wisdom, prayer, and inspiration. My condolences as well on the loss, still painful I’m sure, of your mama. My prayers are with you.

    Angie – Thank you for your condolences and prayers.

    Texas Liberal – Thanks my friend. Thanks also for your email. It’s time for a summit.

    Bedlam – Thanks for your kind words and prayers. And thanks for visiting this site. I hope to see you again in happier times.

    Mick – What can I say good buddy? Your words are right on point and I appreciate your sharing about your Dad. I pray that peace will come to you as well. Time does have a way of dulling the pain, but the wound never completely heals. BTW, received your email and I can’t express how much I appreciate you for sending it. Hugs right back to you, Corey, and the gang.

    8thLight – Thank you for your consoling words. I appreciate you visiting this site too. Please come back soon.

  20. Believer 1964 August 16, 2008 at 4:12 PM  

    May God continue to bring to light the memories shared and the wisdom gained with mom.

    Even when waves of great sadness overtake, you remember always the promise of eternity in God.

    Prayers of peace going up for you and yours!

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